Book Review – I Need Your Love – Is That True? By Byron Katie
September 23, 2022
‘I Need Your Love – Is That True?’ is Byron Katie’s second book. With her self-inquiry called ‘The Work’ she continues to help people question their thoughts that cause fear and suffering in their world and supports them in allowing their mind to return to its true, peaceful and creative nature.
In her first book ‘Loving What Is’ Byron Katie introduced her method of questioning your thoughts. This, her second book, is about examining the relationship with others using the same method.
More in details
We walk through life, trying to get love and approval from other people in our lives. Byron Katie says, “Everyone agrees that love is wonderful. We spend our whole lives seeking it, holding on to it, or trying to get over it” which is so true.
This book goes through the different topics in regards to our quest for love, approval and appreciation and looks at the painful thoughts and beliefs we hold about them. Specifically she is looking at questioning your thoughts about love, seeking approval, and falling in love. Furthermore she elaborates on the fact that personalities don’t love but that they want something.
From this understanding and acceptance of what is, Byron Katie teaches us using many examples about how relationship troubles can disappear when we are willing to judge our partner mercilessly and then question our judgments. She offers keys to freedom in love, suggestions and examples on how couples save their marriage through inquiry.
One of my favorite parts of the book is her take on what living in love looks like when there is no seeking, wanting or needing. In all her writing she includes a myriad of real-life stories, with excerpts of dialogue to underline her teaching.
About the author
Byron Katie herself went through depression in her early thirties and was dealing with self-loathing, rage and paranoia. With constant thoughts of suicide she was often unable to leave her bedroom and was also admitted to a halfway house for women with eating disorders. That’s where she ‘woke up to reality’ where a dramatic shift in awareness brought her inner clarity and freedom from her issues. Katie says that this is when she found a joy with herself that has never disappeared, not for a single moment.
This is another highly suggested reading for you if you’re interested in transforming your own thoughts about relationship. I have found it especially useful working with couple clients in relationship counselling.