Dating and Courtship Versus Boyfriend and Girlfriend
September 23, 2022
Dating and courtship has been termed an alien culture in Africa. Many Christian denominations preach that dating is evil. If we can think about the meaning of dating and courtship as the preliminary relationships to engagement and marriage, we can appreciate the place and importance of this two key words and activities in the coming together of boys and girls and men and women for the processing and promulgation of family. Dating and courtships meetings are conducted in public.
Boyfriend and girlfriend are the words commonly used to describe a boy and girl or a man and a woman in an intimate relationship. In this day and age, when two people of the opposite sex are considered as friends, they are engaged in sexual intercourse outside marriage. The main purpose of this type of relationship is to have a partner for sexual intercourse or for economic gain – almost the same as prostitution.
One of the basic differences between the two types of relationships – dating and courtship versus boyfriend and girlfriend – described above is intention.
A friend is described as a pal, buddy, companion, acquaintance, comrade and ally. Friends help and support one another to grow in their strengths.
Premarital and extramarital sexual intercourse is evil any time and place. Those involved in them know and feel it regardless of the pervasiveness of sexual promiscuity in the society. This is underlined by the fact that those involved in it hide to do it.
Dating and courtship activities are open public activities. But what boyfriends and girlfriends do together is done in secret and hiding.
It is a misnomer using boyfriend and girlfriend to describe the relationship of boys and girls and men and women have when what they do is promote immorality and only think of marriage when the girl gets pregnant or as a result of other inducements.
How can a boy or man term a girl or woman he invited in to have sexual intercourse with a friend? Friends build each other up. Premarital and extramarital sex is destructive to those involved. So a boy or man or woman or girl engaging in premarital or extramarital sex with anybody is actually an enemy of such a person and not a friend. In that case, we should be thinking in terms of boy-enemy and girl-enemy.
Let it be repeated here that premarital and extramarital sex is destructive to those involved. You cannot have sexual intercourse with someone who is only your friend. Sexual intercourse is appropriate only with a spouse, legally and lawfully wedded. It is preferable we call a spade a spade. If a woman or girl is looking for a man to pay her school fees, buy her clothes, pay house rent for her, feed her, etc and is willing to exchange sexual favors for that, we know the name – PROSTITUTION. If a man is looking for a woman or girl to massage his sexual urges and he is ready or is already picking her expenses to impress her, we know the name for that – PROSTITUTION. It is called commercial sex – sex for and with money.
If a girl or boy is your friend, you cannot be involved with them sexually. Friends build up friends. So, it is misnomer calling a commercial sex customer a boyfriend or girlfriend.
We are copying even the way we breathe and speak from the West, so we cannot pontificate about copying dating and courtship from the white man. What our people need is an understanding of these terms as they apply to what we are already doing and learn to do them right to promote a joyful dating and marriage relationship.