As I am someone who has been married for almost 40 years (my wedding anniversary is next week 6th June 2010), I think I have a pretty good idea about what it takes to have a long and successful marriage!
My husband and I are more in love with each other every day, and we tell each other quite a few times throughout the day. We have never had a fight! You may find this hard to believe but it’s absolutely true. We have had minor disagreements, but we’ve never yelled at each other or mentally or physically abused one another.
You may ask how we’ve managed to stay married for so long? Here’s a few tips to help you have a great relationship too.
- Treat your spouse as though they are your best friend. You can tell a best friend everything, but a lot of couples don’t see themselves as being “best” friends with each other so the communication breaks down and the relationship usually falls apart.
- NEVER go to bed angry. If you have to stay up all night to resolve an issue, then do it.
- If there is a problem within your relationship, then discuss it with your spouse. Don’t let it fester so that it gets to a point where the relationship breaks down and the marriage is dead. Do whatever it takes to remedy the situation. If it means going regularly to a marriage counselor then do it. One of the main reasons why so many marriages are ending in divorce is because both parties are not willing to do what it takes to save their marriage. I call society today a “throw away” society. It’s so easy to throw something away rather than fixing it, and this is what is happening with marriages.
- Don’t let money or health issues come between you. If you really love each other you’ll be able to work through them together.
- Never fight in front of your children if you have them. This is the worst thing you can do to a child psychologically. I call it mental abuse, which they will carry with them for life.
- Don’t try to live a “single” life when you’re married. If you’re going out on your own on a regular basis, then you’re looking for trouble. A happily married couple will want to spend as much time with each other that they can. This doesn’t mean that you never go out on your own, but try to stay away from clubs and pubs as they are deemed in many people’s eyes as “meat factories”. Don’t put yourself into a situation where you’ll be tempted to do something wrong.
It really isn’t difficult to be successfully married for 40 years. Yes there are times when we’ve both had to make re-adjustments, but we did it together.
I am a totally independent person and I do my own thing, have my own friends etc., but I know that my “very best friend” is waiting for me at home.
Source by Susan P Denny
