We enter into every new relationship hoping and expecting things to be better than last time. At the beginning it usually is, which makes us think that the previous partner just wasn’t the right one for us. Guess what? It won’t last! Nothing stays the same.
If you get over being frustrated or angry at the truth in this statement, you can start to truly see things for what they are. That is when true relating, with your true self and with the real person behind your fantastic, fabulous new boyfriend or girlfriend, starts.
Nothing stays the same
Everything is either in the process of growth or decay, nothing ever stays the same. Just look at nature: from the changes of day to night, the flowers blooming and wilting or the caterpillar developing into a butterfly. In wanting something to remain the way it was, we resist the natural flow of life. The same applies to relationship.
Welcome and accept change
There is no choice but to practice welcoming change. Just like you may welcome the rising sun of a new day or the sound of the raindrops on your rooftop, it starts with your attitude of acceptance. Neither the sun or the rain will actually mind whether you welcome them or resist them, so in the end it has only got to do with your state of well-being and acceptance of ‘what is’.
Say to yourself: ‘this is the flow of life’. Accepting and learning to adapt to change is what growing is all about. In relationship we have a partner to grow with, to exchange our feelings with or share our challenges. If you find it difficult to accept change, you can be sure that you will have plenty of practice during your life-time.
Invitation to stay in the now
Our only chance is to pay attention to what is right now. Just like with nature, you can start enjoying everyday life in your relationship, embrace changes in yourself and your partner and adapt to new situations.
Obviously I’m talking about things like your partners habit of leaving his papers on the table or her way of having to have all the dishes clean before going to bed. There are some possible issues in a relationship that are not acceptable, for example abuse, which under no circumstances needs to be accepted.
Moving from the state of resistance to acceptance starts by making peace with the parts within you that resist. Being human means that you will have feelings of resistance – start by accepting them. That is your first step toward moving to acceptance.